Hey guys it’s me BG, look at me :3
I’ve started watching this show with all of my college friends called Rick and Morty. Oh my, is it funny, you guys have got to watch it. I literally died watching it and came back to life and then I died again only to laugh some more.
By the way did you know that literally officially doesn’t mean literally anymore. It now basically means metaphorically, literally. I don’t know what this means but I think the world is over or something.
I went to buy a gallon of milk the other day but I came back with almond milk. I didn’t want that so when I returned it they checked the seal and saw that I ahd actually drank half of it. I told them that I didn’t know it was almond milk at first and had a reaction but the most they could do for me was half that amount and in store credit. No thank you, if I want your store specific income I’ll buy a gift card.
I was walking down the street and I walked by this guy and he looked at me like ‘hey.’ Whatever, I’m not into that.
It started to smell really bad in my dorm so we found out the plumbing was backed up. So I called Dave 21 once and they were here like some sort of magic spell. They did this rooting thing on the plumbing and now it doesn’t smell any more. Except when fish leg Fred walks by, he always smells like onions and cartamin.
I went to Burger King the other day and I tried out this burger called the Baconator. Now I’m vegan, but I had no idea it would be that tasty. I tried to return the wrapper for my refund but they told me they don’t do refunds on perfection and then they called the cops saying that I’m a repeat offender. I’ve only broken Veeg twice! I’m still a vegan I just ordered the baconator on accident. I wanted to get the baconbaber, where you buy the burger and plants a pig in the ground.
I started playing the flute again. My roommate told me to stop so I played it louder until they called the RA, then I played my whistle instead and started to scream and they let me play flute in my room now. I won in the end and that’s all that matter.
One time I was walking down the street and this old man asked me ‘you want a penny little boy?’ I can’t believe he so blatantly assumed my gender like that. I can’t even believe he would do that so I called the cops on him and said he had a bomb then ran away. I’m pretty sure he’s been arrested I hope so anyway.